Johnny Damon sleeps with the fishes...

The news this morning hit me like a ton of bricks. At first a friend left me a voicemail message asking if I was now going to root for the Yankees. Knowing that was, let's see, frickin' impossible, I still wondered what would prompt such a sarcastic message. A quick check of the web confirmed my worst fears. Johnny Damon, the "Unfrozen Caveman Centerfielder" Sox fans have come to know and love, has signed a 4-year pact with the Evil Empire.

First of all, I will never forget the contribution Johnny D. made to the 2004 Red Sox and the joy he brought to Red Sox Nation. I wish him nothing but the best in the future.

That being said. Johnny, how could you? Sure, I could see the Dodgers, now that they are building an outpost of Red Sox Nation on the Left Coast, but the Bronx? It actually makes good sense for the pinstripes, with an aging Bernie Williams needing to be replaced in centerfield. And Damon will certainly provide a nice spark at the top of a potent lineup. But this one stings. I think I'm still in shock, but the first time I see the 'Unfrozen One' suited up in pinstripes is really going to be a dagger. I will always think of Damon's grand slam in Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS as the nail in the Evil Empire's coffin (even given all of Ortiz's heroics), so it's going to be weird, to say the least.

So, chalk up Johnny D. in the pantheon of former Red Sox greats suiting up in pinstripes, starting with the Babe and going right through to Wade Boggs and the Rocket (no, I didn't forget Mark Bellhorn, but I tried to). The really hard part of this is going to be explaining this to my 7-year-old daughter. She hates the Yankees (she has been brainwashed, uh, I mean 'well schooled), and she loves Johnny Damon. I'm not sure how I'm going to break this to her. In the end analysis, just two words come to mind: "This sucks."